Post MENstral Syndrome

Mr. Juanderful was giving me some pretty hardcore signs that he just wasn’t very interested anymore, and then he comes out with “What are you doing Saturday night?” on Friday at about 10pm. So we make a date and he tells me to pick the time. I pick 5pm (just enough time to fit a matinee in there). So Saturday am I’m trying to mow the grass, clean the house, wash the clothes, go to SA to buy a new TV at Best Buy, fix the toilet seat, etc… when he texts me something mysterious. I ask “huh?” and two seconds later he’s calling me and giggling b/c it was intended for one of his friends and he accidentally sent it to me. So I was like “OK…ha ha….that’s cool. So I’ll see you tonight?” thinking that I have a million things to do and we’ll see each other later. Then lays this huge guilt trip on me b/c he says that I don’t want to talk to him. He hangs up on me. (!) I call him right back and explain that I was very sorry to be so short to him, blah, blah, blah, but in the back of my mind I’m thinking “When did I have to start kissing ass to a 31-year-old guy with major PMS?”. He pseudo-forgives me but says that I should call him later on that day to tell him if I want him to come over after all. ??? I sent him an apology e-card and I texted him twice to ask if he would check his e-mail. Got no response.

So I get my stuff done, and at 3pm I call him as he requested but someone picked up the phone and hung it up again. !!! So I call back, thinking it might have been a bad connection, and I get his voicemail. Uh-huh! I text him “So I guess it goes w/out saying that we won’t be seeing a movie together this evening. Sorry that I upset you. Goodbye” And he comes back with all this crap about how he’s out fishing, which is cool by me but I just didn’t understand how that makes him unreachable. I mean, he wasn’t deep sea fishing off the coast of Galveston, so what’s the deal? He says he’s sorry and he’d like to meet at 6 instead of 5. Allright.

He gets to my house and we decide to go see MI3. He’s not very jazzed about being there, and besides the movie, it’s kinda boring to spend time with him. Dinner was my treat (since I was so horribly nasty to him that morning) but he wouldn’t pick a place. I ended up picking El Ranchito, and he hated the food (surprised?!) and when we went back to my place he was like “Well, I’m going to go back home.” And I’m a little disappointed, but thinking “And this is the last time you will ever see this man again”. I wish him well, give him a big hug and go inside. 4 seconds later he calls and says “You never even asked me in!” So he ended up coming in and spending the night. Same old…we watched some TV, fooled around a bit, and we went to sleep. Next morning we chatted, fooled around some more, and THEN! He kept doing this thing where he would try to stick a finger in my butt. SO. NOT. COOL. At first it was kinda funny, like getting goosed, and I got a few of my own attempts in too, but then out of nowhere he got mighty close, so I jumped on top of him, spanked his butt as hard as I could and told him to STOP! I’m thinking it was playful, like wrestling, and cute b/c he could totally kick my ass but I spanked him anyway, and he jumps up, puts on his clothes, and says he has to go. Why is this guy so freakin’ sensitive? It’s not like he’s sensitive and treats me with kid gloves, he’s just blunt and super sensitive at the same time. I started to understand how Shawn must have felt all these years…

I ask him to please come back, at least so that I can give him a hug good-bye, but he’s out the door. I’m on the bed, naked but for a t-shirt, with his scent still all over my body, and he abruptly left. I texted him that he made me feel like his whore, and that if he was only interested in fooling around then he should stop contacting me. He texts back “I didn’t mean to do that but you make me feel the same way we should move on” And I reply “I don’t understand how I made you feel like a whore, but if you want to move on then I have to respect that. Thank you for telling me.” And that concludes my latest and most f-ed up foray into the dating world.

Of course, later on that day I got totally schnockered when Amanda, her Sean, and Connie came over to swim in the pool. It was fun, but the hangover the next day was not. This long weekend I’m going to accompany Amanda to Yoakum to the Shiner picnic (got nothing else going on!), and we’re all going toobing the weekend after next. So that’s good; some diversions from not having Juan to hang out with. But I guess that’s the cool part about being older and dating; slicing through the bs, or even just realizing a strong connection hasn’t been made at least means that you won’t be spending months or years of your life with the wrong person. I really am thankful that he was honest with not seeing a future for us. (But I was just really starting to get into his cuteness, and his sexy sexy hands!) Sigh……