And So It Has Begun....

...my metamorphosis into the crazy dog lady. I still bathe regularly, and I have yet to invest in knee high panty hose and $4 tennis shoes from Dollar General, but I can feel that along with my current surge of dog pathos, shambling around town while speaking softly to myself is immanent.

The animal control flunkies left a card on my door yesterday because my gentle giants are freakin' TERRORIZING THE NEIGHBORHOOD. I know this to be true because during the short hours when I am home I see them chasing the cats up trees (this usually makes me laugh), loudly barking at nothing in particular, chasing each other through various front yards around the suburb, knocking down outdoor grills as they wrestle and lumber around. Of course they're into the trash; I've had to clean my yard 4 times, and the scary part is that the trash they bring into my yard is not mine. I need only to peer down the street to see the path of destruction left in their wake. It's actually a beautiful sight to see because they are having the time of their lives, but so not cool if youve got to clean up after them.

But they really are good dogs! When I make a kissy noise in the air, they all come to me, and when I tell them no, they stop doing whatever is they were doing and look at me dolefully. They would make awesome pets and if I had a big yard, I'd keep them in a second. This brings me to today. My hometown dogcatchers are notorious for being pricks. I know that if I call them and claim the dogs, I'll get a ticket because theyre roaming free, and if I say they arent mine then theyll be caught, locked up, and I'd be expected to pay for them if I wanted them back.

I've gone to some no-kill shelter websites, but so far its only yielded wild thoughts of adopting the dogs that they already have there, or becoming a foster home for a dog, which is the WORST idea ever. I've got a dog, (marginally- she weighs 5 and a half pounds), and I'm lucky enough to have a set-up that allows me to leave her with someone all day, and take care of her when I work late and/or go out of town. I doubt that offer would be extended if I doubled the recipe.

Hmmm, if they're smart enough to evade capture, I wonder if I could harbor them? Y'know like Anne Frank or Harriet Tubman? I just cannot bring myself to turn them in to the canine five-oh. I'm hoping my inaction will buy them a few more days of freedom, a few more belly rubs from someone who cares about them, and just one more opportunity to petrify those cats. "Get em!" Heh heh heh.