So I inadvertently made a bomb this weekend. Hear me out! While I have watched an episode or two of "Mr. Wizard's World" in my day, I do not recall the whole you-can-make-a-bomb-out-of-household-charcoal episode. I believe that somehow, somewhere, a science teacher has failed me.
So it's a beautiful, balmy Saturday and I have nothing but a sunny weekend (+ 1 extra hour) ahead of me, and at my disposal. It's times like these when a woman's thoughts turn to grilling. (Yes, I'm quite a catch, I know…) So I go into my shed and find that the charcoal bag has ripped. Admittedly I had not grilled since my ex was still in the picture, so I was more surprised to find that I had adequate supplies to fire up the grill to begin with, and the problem seemed to be solved easily enough: I found an innocent looking blue plastic bucket filled with what appeared to be pebbles for an aquarium, and some kind of fertilizer (yes, Sherlock Holmes would have the case solved right before that beginning parenthesis). I place the contents of the bucket into a bin and dumped the charcoal into the bucket. Perhaps I should refer to the bucket as the "casing" from here on out.
Gods of both wind and fire were called upon, animal flesh was satisfactorily burned on the grill, hunger was satiated, and about 3 hours later our fair heroine was upstairs enjoying a deserved rest in bed. Sometime during that blissful hour of quietude, I heard a noise that roused me from sleep. My razor sharp mind leapt from unconsciousness to surmise that the cats were f'in around by the pool, and had once again upturned a shelf, pool supplies, or some other large object that bored cats get into. My not-as-razor-sharp body merely lifted it's head, eyed my dog sleeping peacefully next to me, and turned for a more comfortable sleeping position myself.
I was asked to take my grandmother to church that evening, so I woke up to my alarm (at 4:30 pm), quickly freshened up, and walked out to my car. This is what I saw:
So it's a beautiful, balmy Saturday and I have nothing but a sunny weekend (+ 1 extra hour) ahead of me, and at my disposal. It's times like these when a woman's thoughts turn to grilling. (Yes, I'm quite a catch, I know…) So I go into my shed and find that the charcoal bag has ripped. Admittedly I had not grilled since my ex was still in the picture, so I was more surprised to find that I had adequate supplies to fire up the grill to begin with, and the problem seemed to be solved easily enough: I found an innocent looking blue plastic bucket filled with what appeared to be pebbles for an aquarium, and some kind of fertilizer (yes, Sherlock Holmes would have the case solved right before that beginning parenthesis). I place the contents of the bucket into a bin and dumped the charcoal into the bucket. Perhaps I should refer to the bucket as the "casing" from here on out.
Gods of both wind and fire were called upon, animal flesh was satisfactorily burned on the grill, hunger was satiated, and about 3 hours later our fair heroine was upstairs enjoying a deserved rest in bed. Sometime during that blissful hour of quietude, I heard a noise that roused me from sleep. My razor sharp mind leapt from unconsciousness to surmise that the cats were f'in around by the pool, and had once again upturned a shelf, pool supplies, or some other large object that bored cats get into. My not-as-razor-sharp body merely lifted it's head, eyed my dog sleeping peacefully next to me, and turned for a more comfortable sleeping position myself.
I was asked to take my grandmother to church that evening, so I woke up to my alarm (at 4:30 pm), quickly freshened up, and walked out to my car. This is what I saw:
There was rubble on my car, and the distinct smell of burnt rubber permeating the air. My head was still a little foggy from having just awoken, so you'll have to forgive my initial thoughts: Who threw a bomb at my house? Is my carport falling apart? And my personal favorite: Did an asteroid or errant meteor hit my driveway? Suddenly all the skills I have ever acquired from reading the entire Encyclopedia Brown books leapt to the forefront of my mind as I quickly scanned the area for any clues. Toob for fun in the sun? There where I left it…. Lighter fluid from grilling? That was still there, upright, and in tact…. Bucket of charcoal…..huh? I coulda swore I placed it right where that hole in the concrete is! Mystery solved.
Well dear readers, let this be a lesson for you. I still don't know how the hell I bombed my driveway, but for my part I will try my very best to keep this unknowingly reluctant MacGyver dormant and in check.
Well dear readers, let this be a lesson for you. I still don't know how the hell I bombed my driveway, but for my part I will try my very best to keep this unknowingly reluctant MacGyver dormant and in check.
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