Rockin' the Cradle of Love

I'm never drinking ever again!!! Sigh…. Just hating life right now. Yesterday I went to a 4th of July party and drank….way too much. No really. I drank way. too. much. The highlight of the evening was snogging, in public, w/a 24-yr-old. What was I thinking?!?!? Honestly, I was thinking "I really want to find a bedroom and show this guy how it's done" which, of course, I did not do. Last night I must have been positively irresistible; I also got hit on by two women! (Well, I was wearing Birkenstocks….) J One woman was my age, a femme, but a dirty femme! She was taller than me, and admittedly a little scary. The other one was actually quite young, probably 22 or so, and she was so sweet! She drew hearts on my arm w/her liquid eyeliner, looked me straight in the eyes and said "Now this love will travel up your arm, and into your soul." Hokey, yes, but it's still pretty damn sweet. I did meet a lot of other people, and for that fact alone I'd have to say that I had a good time. I guess getting groped in public was just icing on the cake. (why...why...why?!) Stupid jello shots.

Still tipsy at that point o' the morning. Here's the real assessment of the evening. Enjoy.

OK, some clarifications… The party started at 1pm. I had not yet eaten anything that day, but I did have a couple of sausages w/mustard. They were tasty, and I washed them down with a couple of beers. My hottie, Ray, arrived around 3pm. He works at a homegrown computer place and does stand-up comedy on the side. He's going to be at the Velveeta Room tonight, as a matter of fact. Anyway, I finished my 6 pack (there were only 2 kegs and there was a fear that they'd run out of beer) and went on to drink some of Courtney's beer. (It's OK, I asked first) At this point I would have done well to eat something else, but I did not.

Throughout the afternoon I met a lot of people. Nancy the PTA, Andy the outdoorsman, Matt the carpenter from Baton Rouge, Piper whose father was in policeman training when he lost a finger in an accident (his trigger finger), and then had to be a postman, Bonnet the waitress who has an online blog. But every once in a while, Ray would come around and we'd chat each other up. I could tell he was interested, but he's a youngin, so I didn't think too much of it. As a matter of fact, I was kind of hard on him; y'know, teasing him in my blunt way and just making fun in general. I've noticed that there's a certain kind of guy who actually enjoys this, and sees it as a challenge, but the messed up part is that I'm not trying to play hard to get; that's actually a part of my personality, and I can't play games for shit, which is why this type of man is especially dangerous to me. All of these things were very apparent to me for most of the evening. Then the jello shots came out. And this is really my fault because I was told that not only were they made w/Everclear, but that the recipe called for 2 cups hot water, 1 cup cold water, and 1 cup vodka. They were made with 2 cups hot water and 2 cups Everclear. For some reason this did not matter to me when they were being passed around.

Night fell, and the party went forward, and Ray and I started talking more exclusively. To put a finer point on it, I'd say that he purposely separated me from the pack; every time I'd join a group of people, it didn't take long for him to be right next to me. But not in a pestering way; I did really like his sense of humor, and the fact that he grew up in Venezuela was pretty intriguing. At some point he went into a couple of his bits and they were really funny. I'd say about half an hour after the jello shots, I became more…pliable in the personal space department. I'm not normally a touchy/flirty person, and I wasn't trying to hit on him to begin with, but I noticed he kept getting closer and closer to me and at some point, I let him. Then I very stupidly relayed that I haven't had sex in 18 months. Well, if this guy was into the chase before I said that, his interest in me then grew exponentially. But I was still holding my own!

Here's where I goofed up:
I went to the kitchen to get another beer and I met Senjey. He's a sous-chef , and he was making hamburgers, chopping lettuce, and just tearing around the kitchen in general. We started talking and he was lamenting about the lack of space in the fridge. I said something like "you take care of your food, I'll deal w/the fridge." There was a whole lot of space taken up by the huge bowl of jello shots, but there weren't really many jello shots in there. Soooooo, I tried to fit them into a smaller bowl, which worked, save the 4 that didn't fit in the bowl. I tried to give them to those passing through the kitchen, but I didn't have many takers, and the room was getting really crowded and…I took at least 3, in rapid succession. This was the beginning of the end.

So Stumbley went back to the party (that's me) and guess who caught up with me, and guess who got in kissing range of one 24-yr-old lothario. I did dodge him a couple of times, but once our lips made contact, my brain shut off and my body went on autopilot. I guess it was around 11 or so. He then invited me to another party, but Courtney was my ride home, and I did still have some sense to NOT get into a car w/3 male strangers, even if one of them was a really good kisser. He got my number, I never asked for his. He's having a birthday party on the 28th (He'll be 25!, which he kept reminding me of) and his friends are going to roast him, and he really wants me to come, blah blah blah. Do you realize that when I was in high school he was in the 2nd grade?! Eeesh!

And as an aside, coming to work hung over really sucks!!! It's actually been better than in the past, y'know, when I actually gave a shit about this job. Today I cited a "meeting" from 12-1 (which was a total sham, I just went to lunch), came in and "went to lunch" (sham #2, I took a much needed nap in the ladies room), and basically just goofed around on the internet in general for much of the day. I have GOT to get another job…Maybe I could better hone these "cougar" skills and make some real money!