Steppin' Out

The company picnic was ok. Actually, I ended up with a great overall sense of accomplishment in light of the fact that I can remember my first picnic when I was very shy, didn’t speak to many people, and ended up sitting w/Melissa and Gloria as they watched me get drunk until they stopped serving at 8:30. This year I was all over the place, meeting new people, joking around w/folks from other departments, shaking hands, kissing babies, and by choice ended up sitting w/Melissa and Gloria as they watched me get drunk until they stopped serving at 8:30. (If it ain’t broke….)

That night I also happened to meet Ed, a man from the Registrar’s Office, who extended an invite for the following evening to downtown Austin. I did take him up on his offer (while informing loved ones of my whereabouts just in case.) and had a spectacular time at Oilcan Harry’s. Yes, I’m single, finally in a town full of young, upwardly mobile people, and the first group of friends I hit upon are gay men. (S’ok though…baby steps…first I get into the general vicinity of singles who own cocks, THEN I move on to singles who own cocks that might potentially be attracted to me) :-)

Anyway, we went b/c Lady Bunny was performing, who is the creator and star of a festival in New York called Wigstock. I first saw Wigstock, a documentary, when I was in college, and have always secretly hoped that she’d make a Wigstock II. I have so much respect for someone who was raised in the south (Tennessee) and was able to break away and achieve something that means so much to so many people. I have been to Oilcan Harry’s once before, and it was OK, once you get past the requisite “What is THAT vagina doing taking up space in our club” looks from particularly meaney queenies, but I’ve got a fairly sharp sense of humor, so I just turned my “fag hag” skills up to level 9.4, and it was all good.

The show was hilarious and raunchy. Luckily we were standing pretty close to the stage, with a great view of it all, and after her first set she began talking to a group of guys who came in drag on the side of the stage farthest from us. All of a sudden some really beefy guys began to part the crowd right next to me. Some signal was given and she made a beeline for us, which was apparently the path she was taking to her dressing room. When she walked by me I was cheering and clapping and she GRABBED MY HAND as I yelled how beautiful she was. Lady Bunny is the FIRST celebrity I have ever met, and yes, I totally did all the fawning and pelting her with excessively obsequious verbal diarrhea. Then, later on she gave me her autograph and a free Oilcan Harry’s t-shirt, but by that time I was 3 martinis to the wind and from what I can recall, I believe my first words to her were “I wish that I had a cock so that I could fuck you.” Not the most congruent of pick-up lines, but it did score me a free shirt.

I guess that the worst part of all of this is that almost none of my friends knew who the hell I was talking about when I texted at 3am: “Lady Miss Bunny just grabbed my hand and shook it!!! AND she gave me a free t-shirt and her autograph!” But I had a blast, and that’s what matters. Later that morning we found ourselves at the Magnolia Café, and I stayed in Austin w/Ed in his guest room. He was even gracious enough to let Rootie stay there too! All in all, I had a wonderful time. This, my second weekend living in San Marcos.

Yep…that’s about all that happened this weekend. Uh-huh. Nothing extraordinary or out of character for me- straight and narrow. Weell…except for the hours directly after the company picnic where I took occasion to drink a bottle of shiraz thereby unleashing Sasha, my druken, horny alter-ego who then sent nudie pics to an old friend. (Damn that Sasha!) When taking into account my previous drunk texting, this is by far the least regrettable. And though I did have to suffer his texting back a picture of my right breast with the message along the lines of: “Don’t these come in pairs, where’s my picture of the other one?” (He did this days later when I was sober as a judge and practically blinded by the whiteness of my own knockers), but all I can say is that he wouldn’t have those pics unless I gave them, so I can only be upset at the woman in the mirror. (And yes Juan, I’ve decided to place a moratorium on our late night drunk talks.)

Lastly, I managed to see Superbad. The scenes w/the cops seemed to slow the movie down, but most of it was funny enough, and any movie that includes doing donuts in an empty parking lot to the Van Halen song “Panama”, is fucking aces in my book. I will admit that there’s nothing planned for my upcoming 4 day weekend, except for Rootie’s teeth cleaning on Tuesday, but if stayed along my present course, I’m sure I’ll have something to write about soon. Lots of love and luck to my two favorite teachers!