Back on Track?

My friend Eric finally got me on the right track. I had given up on my Halloween costume this year b/c of the 6 month budget I’ve recently committed to (will attempt to commit to), which will have me in fairly good financial shape for the coming uncertainties which lie ahead. SO, I figured that since I’m going to the Renfest (which IS budgeted), that I’d forgo plans for Halloween. Until I was made to realize just how I could make my own costume. In the past I have indulged in the lamest form of costume known to man: the novelty ears. I think the whole thing started in childhood when my mom would always make me wear either the ballet costume from my previous year’s recital, or even worse, my ballet tights and leotard so that I could paint my face white and be a mime. Though I can’t blame my mom too terribly much, after all times were tight and I should be thankful that she made it a point to spend the time and money to have me involved in ballet for those 8 years, but I do wish I had one of those mom’s who was a bit more creative. Years later here I am, so quick to give up when my unimaginativeness declares that without $70-$100 to purchase a costume outright, I’m out of luck. Thank goodness Eric gave me some great ideas and put me right.

As I briefly mentioned before, I budgeted my prospective earnings, as estimation from the stipend I’ll be getting to being a puppet for the next few months (Acting Assistant Director in the house ya’ll!), and by the time Feb. comes around I should be in a good spot to make my next move, whether it be back to Seguin or in for another lease in San Marcos. I just found a place called Sanctuary Lofts which I really wish I had found before I signed the lease for this joint. Not that it’s so horrible to live here, just that I cannot imagine myself asking anyone to visit my humble abode as I live in a frat closet. I won’t sacrifice much of my objective, which is to bring my living expenses down so that I can pay off more of my debt, but for an extra $40 per month, I could stand to live in a nicer place.

And in other news, while I have committed myself to a costume, I have yet to find a shindig in which to wear it, though I have been out much more than usual. Tuesday I went to a free Reckless Kelly concert and discovered that I quite liked their band, and Friday night I went out w/my coworker Dina and her husband to drink waaaaay too much beer. The only regret I have about that night is that I was originally slated to go to a birthday party in Austin, the same hostess at the party in which I met Ray, the 24 and nine-tenths comedian who gave me tonsillitis (so says I-that could have been a coincidence). In any event, I had to give two presentation at college day Saturday morning, so I had to decline the offer in order to do the responsible thing and NOT show up hungover to the event, yet the seemingly innocuous invite that came at 4:50 to go have one drink led to just that. We drank until 1am, had a great time, but I arrived at the presentation bleary-eyed and lost, did a sub-par job, and spent a hell of a lot more money than I would’ve if I’d just gone to the party! And that’s WITH Dina and her hubby buying me dinner at Valentinos! Sheesh!

But I’m getting out and about, have a good handle on my future finances (whether or not I actually do the thing I know I’m supposed to do is still in question), and I’m coming to terms w/my needs more and more. I’ve never been one to lament about my lack o’ chilluns, but I will admit that it’s come back. That feeling I used to have when I was 20-22 when every time I saw a baby my line of vision would get frozen, my chest would tighten and my lower tummy would ache. Yes, I’ve been able to stave it off for nearly a decade but my baby fever is back. Just today I saw a man shopping at Wal Mart, and his tiny little offspring had me dazed for a good 10 minutes. And that only means that knowing my financial constraints could potentially be lifted in the next 2 years or so, I sometimes dream of the notion of getting preggers regardless of my relationship situation. I know, I KNOW, it’s so selfish to think that my own need to procreate would trump a child’s need to have a father. Sighhh….just a thought folks.