Friend of a Fiend

So I’m not gonna lie. I didn’t make Naplablomahoma, or whatever, because I was out of town this weekend and already missed a few days, but I don’t want to completely throw in the towel. Even though I suppose I could cheat and backpost a few memes, I’m going to stay true and go fwd. For now.

Here’s my latest dilemma: I’ve got a friend named Katie who is a free-spirit, a lover of adventure, and is very well stacked. The reason I share that final tidbit is b/c she definitely gets her fair share of male and female attention, and though she is fairly judicious in choosing who to share physical expressions with, it’s just a numbers game that since she gets offered about 20 times each week, and she only indulges in, say…one time every two months, she’s still got a fair amount of notches on her belt. Now some of you may be thinking “So why are dropping a dime on this supposed friend of yours?” I’ll tell you why! SHE WANTS TO BORROW MY BED!

She and her bf split up about the time I moved to San Marcos, and during this very tumultuous time I may have, in the midst of assuring her that her life was not going to abruptly end b/c he wasn’t in the picture, relayed that if she needed anything at all, I would be there to help her. During this time of MY needing to move all of my furniture downstairs and into storage, I also probably offered her the use of the furniture I could not have possibly used in my current, fully furnished living quarters, up to and including my bed. Thinking of course that a lazy-butt like Katie was never going to actually drive down from Austin to pick it up, plus the fact that she’s now making 3 times what I make (she got a new job shortly before the split). But today I got a call asking if the offer for the bed still stood as her ex is expected to take his bed back within the next week or so. And so the conflict unfolds:

1) Katie and I have a tumultuous time of things in the past. We started out strong and I guess we had nowhere else to go but south. Not that she’s a bad friend, just that she can be very self righteous, and is one of those people who think they are very liberal thinkers, but in fact are more narrow-minded than the staunchest conservative. An example? If you don’t agree with her on a topic, any topic at all, you suddenly become an “idiot”. The name calling is actually the mild blow-up; she once left me in a restaurant b/c I pointed out the fact that anything she didn’t agree with was suddenly “weird”. It was not an accusatory statement, just an observation told over a bottle of wine. She stood up, told me all the things about me she didn’t like (while jabbing her finger in my face), and flounced off to the car. Yes, we’ve had our moments.

2) We used to be coworkers, and went out for drinks many-a-time during her 16 month tenure at the university. She then began employment in Austin, about 20 minutes away from San Marcos, and suddenly deemed this town too boring to visit. Now, I’ve had to deal with this complex many times from many people because living in a small town about half an hour from a big city meant that I was usually the one loading up my car and driving to the city for some fun. But now that I live in San Marcos, I figured that if she didn’t ever get a bit nostalgic for her old stomping grounds, surely meeting halfway would be a good solution. In the past month she has repeatedly told me that if we were to get together it would be because I went up to Austin b/c she doesn’t want to hang around a bunch of “kids” in “some crap, close-minded town”. But I’M here in this town, and how could that not be enough to get in your car and drive down 35? Would it be any different than if I lived in North Austin and was still at least a 25 minute drive away? We were at a standstill there, for sure.

3) Katie is bisexual, and though I’m not averse to the lifestyle I will admit that I have a hard enough time keeping my shit straight with attracting one gender; I cannot possibly imagine how to handle it with two. (Not that’s it’s so impossible to do; I do understand that in that department I am sorely lacking.) Anyway, my mom had given me that bed about a year ago and it’s my very first king-sized bed. This may sound stupid, but well….I haven’t…”christened” it yet, and the thought of Katie getting freaky-deaky bizz-ay in my bed just doesn’t feel right!! It has nothing to do w/her sexuality per se, only that with her body, penchant for drinkin’, and the fact that she’s got DOUBLE the opportunity for sex, I KNOW she’s going to get to do it in my bed before me, and that’s just WRONG!

And so her sweetly calling me today and being coincidentally in the mood to come to San Marcos this weekend in order to visit with her old chum doesnt' get me too terribly suspicous. She did just get a haircut, and so it did come innocently enough, but then she started to lament about the woeful situation about her losing her bed, like she was getting kicked out on the street or something. Knowing that Katie has a flair for drama, I tried to assuage her with: “Well, the worst thing that could happen is that you sleep on the floor for a few nights until you can afford a bed, right?” to which she chimed in: “But now I can get that bed you’re having to store!” The Ah-ha moment hit me. And now how will it all go down?