Take-out I Craved Most During Lent

So I gave up take-out/fast food during Lent. My whole rule was that if someone did not specifically ask me out, I would go home and make food. Which wasn’t even that bad, I mean, I ended up eating at Chilis, Carinos, Mexican joints, and even eating Tai food at some point during the month of March, so it wasn’t all Ramen and boloney. But some days, especially after work, when the LAST thing I wanted to do was go home and make food for dinner AND lunch the next day. Here’s what I missed most:
-P I Z Z A! (‘specially Gattis)
- Chinese takeout (it's perfect b/c you always have enough to fill you up, then take leftovers for lunch the next day; two birds w/one stone!)
- Burgers (and no fries either!)

Secrets

I visit Postsecret.com every Sunday. I love the concept, and only wish I was artistic enough to create my own. Some of those I've conceptualized, but never sent:
1. When I was younger I'd pretend I was on "The Real World" and would "soliliquize" my life. (I remember the first season in NY!)
2. I wish I did not care so much.
3. I would never make my child feel as unimportant as my parents made me feel.

I've seen many of the secrets, and many have touched my heart in a deep and personal way. I think that we go through life in a series of stages; things that once were so very important are not so important to me now. Today, this is my secret.

Things I’d Do in a Month if Money & Time Were No Object

All the items listed above
Visit Gitte in Germany for a week
Travel to Ireland for 7 days
Travel to Spain for 5 days
Visit all friends to spread the wealth

Things I Regret

Not Trusting the Love of:
-C
-E
-J
-E
-S

Not hitting on Clint Decker and Carlos Garza in college

Trusting Carl D.

Not taking enough risks (parents/career)

Not trying harder

Things I'd Do in a Day If Time & Money Were of No Consequence

Wake up early for my:
-Facial
-Manicure
-Pedicure
-Massage (upper body only)
Drive to the nearest mall and get:
-FYEye Eyesdow Base
-Benefit Cheek Tint
-Cargo Blush
Drop off my car to the Volvo Dealership to:
-Get my car tuned up
-Get three new rims (for my car!)
Meanwhile.... I'm out w/Katie (convinced her to play hookey) and we're
-B U Y I N G S H O E S!
-Lunch at the Melting Pot
-Hitting 4th St. for the Nightlife
-Catching a cab home

Whew! Would luuuuuv to live that day!

Jobs I've Held, Pt. 2

Hastings- Hired as associate and within two months promoted to manager. Worked in all sections (books, music, rentals, magazines) by the time I put in my notice. (See an “overachiever” theme here?)

Legal Secretary-Did this favor for my Dad the summer after I graduated from college, after that final stint in Vt. It lasted almost exactly one year b/c I wanted to go visit a guy I’d met at my cousin’s wedding and he didn’t want me to go so he didn’t approve my vacation time off. I quit my job and went on my vacation anyway. He says he fired me. I have been fired-once, but I was able to talk my way back in. My Dad didn’t fire me, but if it hurts him less to think of it that way, I’m OK w/it too. (Honestly, I just didn’t like dealing w/liars, which were most of his clients. I don’t have the stomach for that.

Substitute Teaching- Taught me I’m not mature enough to teach! I am not a yeller, but the 9th Grade Student Center in Seguin, Texas proved me wrong. I did find a perfect position (very rewarding) in the Life Skills class, but I just could not bring myself to clean up BM, so I had to decline. Sighhhh...

Title I Teacher- I got a pretty good handle on this one b/c I was dealing w/2nd graders who couldn’t pass TASS (now called something else), but so many of their problems had nothing to do w/learning disabilities but w/their parents' inability to put their children’s needs before their own. It was so frustrating. Plus, hanging out w/teachers is a bummer. Everyone dresses tacky, and they’re all so petty. Too much like HS for my liking.

Milieu Director: Worked at the Brown School making sure crazy kids didn’t kill each other. Wish I felt safer about them not killing us.

Temp. at Weststaff: Filed medical docs at BAMC in San Antonio for one week straight. A portion of my brain turned to mush forever during that week.

Higher Ed Staff member/real world flunkie- No comment. But I will say that I’m finally planning my next move. Wish me luck!

Art Projects That Have Gone Kaput

Beading jewelry
Watercolor
Cross-stitching
Sewing
Stenciling
Drawing

Top Fears

Something bad will happen to my nephews
I have HIV
I’ll never find happiness in a relationship, and will therefore be alone for the remainder of my days.
I'll end up old and full of regret for all the things I was too scared to try.

Jobs I've Held, Pt. 1

Candy striper: Did this for a summer or two. I had these romantic notions of tending to the sick, but in reality we wore the requisite white and red-striped uniforms while manning the gift shop. This mostly entailed restocking the chips, dusting the knick-knacks, and baking Otis Spunkmeyer cookies. Though it was a volunteered position, I believe we probably ate enough of those cookies to constitute a relatively handsome sum in lost profits for the hospital.
Camp counselor:
McDonalds: My folks would not let me get a job during high school b/c they claimed school was my job. A self-confidence annihilating, non-wage earning, job. But one summer I did talk my folks into letting me work Mickey D’s where I was the cashier/drive-thru flunkie. I so resented that b/c I wanted to be a cook so that I too could melt Happy Meal toys in the SUPER microwaves during slow periods, but nooooo... I had a command of the English language and a full set of unbroken teeth, so I was a Cashier.
Food Court: I got in trouble in college and my $200 per month allowance shrank to $10.00 per week (my Dad is nothing if not strict), but the first time my ten bucks was late I suddenly realized that I could make my own money! I worked at the Underground Food Court on Southside. I was first hired as a cashier, but at the end of my time there I was the only person who could work in any and all of the shops (Taco Bueno, Whataburger, Chick-fil-a, Alonti Deli, AND the frozen yogurt/coffee stand.) Thas’ right! Mad skillz!
Taco Bell- Worked there for 3 months. Most notable for the fact that while they cook no food there, they have the most elaborate cash register set-up. Also, the drunk-asses that rolled through the drive-thru at 1am were funny, and I listened to T’Pau’s “Heart and Soul” about 1,200 times in the three months I was there.

List of Questions James Lipton Asks "Inside the Actors Studio"

What is your favorite word? Weimaraner (it's fun to say)
What is your least favorite word? compromise
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? The big city. Just all those possibilities and new experiences crammed into an area.
What turns you off? People who are arrogant. Everyone should have a healthy ego, just don’t be a tool.
What is your favorite curse word? Cocksucker! (You gotta say it like “Cock-suck-errrrrrrr”)
What sound or noise do you love? Sounds of the beach are my favorite.
What sound or noise do you hate? When those needle-dicked asshats that install glasspacks on their trucks drive by in my apt. parking lot and make all the freakin’ noise. Y’know, I like speed as much as any other red-blooded Southerner, but unless I choose to attend a NASCAR event, I really don’t want to hear that shit.
What profession, other than your own would you like to attempt? Speech Pathology. I think I'd be good at it, but I've got to get my finances in order before I can pursue it.
What profession would you not like to do? Teaching. I haven't the patience.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Welcome in Aimee! Your family and friends are just over there.
Questions I’d love to shout out at any given time: Who/What the fuck is Veronica Mars?!?!

Lays I've Turned Down

I guess I need to clarify this one. I realize that most guys, of a certain age, will basically take what they can get when they can get it. Not that all men are dogs (well…kinda….) but just that I’m not talking about all the chance meetings which could have turned into something physical. I’m listing here people who have:
1. Overtly pursued me
2. I had occasion to be in various sleeping quarters with them
3. I did not partake of their offers of carnal knowledge. (‘Cause I’m a germaphobic nancy.) :-)

Kyle, my lab partner- Nice guy, just not a guy I was interested in. I actually thought he was gay were it not for his asking me out. One evening we were studying in my dorm room; I was on the bed and he was on the floor. I glanced up to his staring at my cleavage (vantage point was in his favor). He silently lifted his hand and touched my necklace and traced up to my neck. I nervously laughed it off. (‘Cause I’m a germaphobic nancy) I never again saw him after that semester of Biology lab.

Bonie- Met this guy my first year working in VT at the F&W camps. He was probably about 6ft 5in tall, and from Africa, so he was a bit intimidating. Not only physically but culturally intimidating. I hate to admit this but I read and hear about different cultures and those things are frequently negative. There are men from certain ethnicities that I just would not date. Middle Eastern, for one, and oh yeah- MEXICO! Ha ha! I’m not trying to be the boss of anyone else, but I have to be the boss of me. Well, OK, relationships are about compromise so I’ll say I have to be the boss of 80% of me (there, is that enough leeway?!)
ANYWAY-he was also older than me so it was just all very intimidating. One night I let him take me out and we got back very late. We were about 45 minutes from camp, it was about 1am, and I didn’t want to wake anyone up, so I stayed at his apt. On his bed-he stayed on the couch. That next year he sent me fifty bucks for my b-day. Poor guy. He really was a nice man, just too much for my 19-yr-old self to deal with.

Claire A.-S’right baby, my hotness transcends gender and shit! Ha ha! This was my second year I worked at camp in Vt. and she was my co-counselor (sounds like a porno already: Camp Cunnilingus) and she admitted she did have a crush on me. Not to brag, but she was the 'belle of ball' that summer-everyone was trying to get into that woman’s shorts. There was even a summer scandal b/c one half of a very established lesbian couple tried to seduce poor Claire, they ended up kissing, Claire stopped it, and la Otra found out. That cuckolded woman cried and cried in every one of our song circles for the next 3 weeks! Anyway, Claire is bi, so she was awesome to talk to in that we both had guy probs and she wasn’t one of those granola nuts who thought the protein from menstrual blood was a viable substitute for plant food (uh…yeah, that conversation was uncomfortable, to say the least). Not sure at what point she decided she wanted to usher me into the ways of female-to-female pleasures of the flesh, but being that I was 21, never had a boyfriend, and didn’t trust men, I must have been ripe for the pickin’! Or so we thought.
The last few nights of camp were tense, ESPECIALLY after the kids left. We got a solid week and half or so, to do general clean-up once the final summer session was drawing to a close, where we were alone in a 3-sided cabin located in the middle of the wilderness, a good 4 minute walk from any other cabin, and in the darkest of darkness (for real, I’ve never experienced darkness like in the Green Mountains of Vt.) During the whole summer we had slept at opposite ends of the cabin, for the sake of safety and for the kids, but that final night Claire decided to move her bedding to the bunk right across from me. She also nabbed a small lantern, as we had already turned in the large one. I can clearly remember seeing her laid out, in her short shorts and navy blue tank top. Claire was on the swim team at Swarthmore, and her body showed it. Sleek and sinewed, her golden tanned, smooth skin was glowing in the lamplight, and I caught flickers of her green eyes as her head tilted when she spoke. We’re talking in the dark, with the night encircling the tiny waning flame of our lantern, and we reach a lull in the conversation. She looks at me, squints her eyes nervously and abruptly states: “I keep thinking of a song over and over again in my head and it just won’t stop.” Me: “What song?” Claire: (shyly singing) “Don’t You Want Me Baby?” I don’t remember what I changed the subject to, probably something stupid like “Don’t you just hate it when songs get stuck in your head?”. I wasn’t oblivious then, just scared, but I remember theorizing the following:
-You don’t have random encounters w/guys you’re probably never going to see again, why would you do that with a woman?
-Where are the butterflies? If I really wanted this, wouldn’t I have butterflies in my stomach?
And so…we never did consummate the attraction (Of course I was attracted to her, she was HOT! And smart, and sweet, and funny, and she didn’t expect anything from me except for me to be myself) We shared a few e-mails during that year, she did a summer at camp w/out me, and the next summer I did one summer w/out her, though she did visit. By that time I was with my ex, staying up until 4am talking on the phone (taking care of a dozen 12-yr-olds on no sleep just doesn’t benefit anyone), and when we got together I couldn’t get my head out of my ex’s ass long enough to have a nice time. Almost literally b/c I remember us sitting in the office (I was waiting for a call from him) and she was inviting me to go out w/her but I didn’t want to miss the call so I said no. WHAT AN IDIOT! For no other reason than it was a very immature thing to do; my ex was going to be around but for some stupid reason I ended up snubbing her. And though I have been hit on by other women since, I always tell myself “If you passed on Claire, there’s no WAY this chick would measure up.”

Clint- Met this guy in a bar in McQueeney (I really need to start lying about that) shortly after I came back to Seguin after A&M. He was a workin’ man w/workin’ man hands, and I am so a sucker for that. And he had curly blonde hair, which was very cute, and was about 4 yrs younger than I was. I’m sure this was a ruse, but at closing time he claimed his car wouldn’t start, and he lived in La Vernia or some mess, and it was a cold winter’s night (relative-probably about 30 degrees outside, but that’s cold in Texas), so he asked if he could stay at my place until he could get the situation sorted out. We were definitely tipsy, but not sloppy drunk or anything. I took a shower and got into my (very chaste and tactful) pjs before exiting the bathroom and found him passed out on my bed. I didn’t take the couch b/c:
1. I have a hard time sleeping in that living room ever since one of those huge waterbug/cockroaches once, in the middle of the night, fell off the ceiling and into my bed.
2. It’s a short couch so it’s not great for sleeping in. Napping- sure, a full night’s rest- not so much.
3. I’m not an animal! Geez, I can sleep next to someone and not have our genitalia converge.

And so I feel asleep, which was all good. While yes, I did just state that it’s not like I was a bitch in season or anything, we did end up cuddling a bit. I think that part of evolution really can’t be helped, but no kissing or fondling. What I DO remember the next morning is waking up on my back, peeking through my sleepy haze and seeing his hand very gently making its way south into my flower-patterned long johns bottoms (told you I donned chaste pjs that night!). I played it cool, feigned sleep and rolled over onto my side. His second attempt, however, led to my pretending he was just attempting to spoon thus waking me up. Shortly thereafter I drove him back to his car (he called someone to meet him there), and dropped him off. I also had to avoid that guy’s calls for a couple of weeks. What?! He was trying to GROPE ME in my sleep AFTER he had sobered up! YUCK! (Hmmm, wonder if that guy’s still available….) Ha ha!

Keith- It took me at least half a year to figure out this guy was interested in me b/c he was pretty shy. He had red hair, a red goatee, and hung out on the benches at Moore Hall during my final summer there. We went to Dudleys a couple of times, and he also came to my dorm room to watch Al Pacino’s “Looking for Richard”, which is about Shakespeare’s play “Richard III”. He watched the whole thing w/me (still think it’s a great movie) and called me a couple of times after he graduated and moved to Dallas. Why didn’t I latch onto that guy like white on rice? I dunno! I just don’t know how to turn that corner from friend to something else, and I guess he didn’t either.

Some guy my friends brought over for a party…just can’t think of his name: VERY cute, VERY smart, and taken. His gf went home to Mexico or the valley or something so he was flying solo that night. Everyone leaves the party (it was at my house) and he stays b/c we’re having such a good time sitting on the couch just talking and laughing. He asked to kiss me but I said I couldn’t b/c he had a girlfriend, and so we just kept on talking. Finally the sun came up, I walked him to his car and he said “Well, can I at least get a hug?” So we hugged (I fell really bad about this b/c I’m sure either my Papo and/or my grandma saw this, and who knows what they thought of me), but I didn’t see him much after that, maybe once or twice. I did, however, run into his gf a few of times and she was quite clear about what she thought of me. So unfair! I TOTALLY could have macked on him, but I would never do that. I guess I have to add “God-fearing” to germaphobic nancy.

Rick- Friend of an ex of Michele’s: Michele set us up b/c he was having a really hard time getting back into the game after a long term relationship. He wasn’t much to look at, but he was a nice guy. We had all gone out drinking, it must’ve been at least 2am and I’m still in S.A. My cousin and her BF had an apt. together at the time, and I’m not sure how we all split off, but Rick offered to get me a hotel for the night b/c he lived at home and he didn’t want me to think he was coming on to me. (I can vouch for that first part; we’d been to his house playing pool the weekend before and there was really no place to sleep in his house besides his bed) So we’re at La Quinta, he gets two double beds (we ended up in one), and I said I wouldn’t have intercourse and he said he wanted to give me “oral pleasures”, which in my mind is ten times more intimate than fucking, so we made out, then passed out. I heard he got back w/his ex shortly thereafter. Yup, I’m either forcing them out of the closet or into their previous failed relationship; I’m a real heartbreaker.

And so those are the lays I laid to the wayside. After I wrote this I realized all of these happened before I met my ex, and I’d hate to think that anyone would assume that I no longer say no, or even worse, that I’m no longer offered. (Ha ha! What an ego on this chick, huh?) I wouldn’t know, things are just…different now that I’m older. No more house parties, no more meeting friends in clubs, no more chillin’ in the dorm rooms, and no more camp. Nowadays it’s a date, a hug, and an internal “Thanks but no thanks” as you walk back to your car. Here’s hoping my days of polite declinations, and that one special “Oh YEAH!” are still ahead of me. (And yes, I too think it’s funny that I subconsciously turn most parting thoughts into toasts)

Pets I've Owned

Ginger: Doberman mix. She would always jump on me, and she once scratched my face up, so mom made dad get rid of her.
Pepper: Pekapoo. She was the dog I grew up with.
Noah: One-eyed poodle. He was actually my brother’s dog b/c he kept shaving a Mohawk into his fur.
Woody: He was half Yorkie, half whatever-jumped-over-the-fence, and he took after his father. He used to chew holes in his pillow and then hump the hole. I'm still fascinated by this b/c while I realize most all dogs hump (even some females), but how did he know to make a hole first?!
Spivy: For some reason my brother bought a flying squirrel and he gave it to me. I have no delusions that he specifically bought it for me, I’m sure he just noted that this “pet’s” nocturnal tendencies were more than he wanted to handle, so I took care of him. When I went away to college I asked a friend to take care of it for awhile. She had to leave it in the bathroom at night (even when you KNOW there’s a flying squirrel on the loose, waking up and seeing one whizz through the air at 2am while you’re trying to sleep is still a bit disconcerting), and somehow Spivy drowned in the toilet. She didn’t want to tell me this so I actually found out about his untimely demise about 6 months after it happened.
Odoe: Guinea Pig that Phil, the resident “old guy still in the dorms” gave to my friend April and me upon his graduation. He was plenty old and died after about 2 months. He’s buried at the corner of the volleyball court in the Keathley-Fowler-Hughes complex at A&M.
Stimpy: Beta fish. That fish lived for about 2 years, and would’ve lived longer, only he got some kind of fish “ick”. It was gross to watch, and I bought stuff to treat him, but in the end there I knew he wasn’t going to make it. I wish I could have put him out of his misery, but the only thing I could come up with was lopping off his head, and there’s no way I’ve got the stomach for that.
Maize: Little white feeder mouse I saved from certain doom. She lived about 18 months. The best part about having a mouse as a pet was that my grandma was terrified of it. (HEY, she’s always killing roaches, picking them up and waving them at me while giggling her ass off. It was time for some payback!)
Bailey: Bichon Frise puppy given to me by my Dad during my final semester in college. I thought I could keep he quiet in the dorm room (it was summer, after all), but it proved too tough a task to maintain, so I asked my aunt Sylvia to watch her for me until the summer ended. By then she was too attached and couldn’t let her go. I was a bit upset, but it was for the best. I was too young and fancy-free to really take care of a pet. Plus, Bailey never did get the hang of the whole “peeing & pooping outside” thing.
Another fish, though I cannot recall the name….
Rootie: This is my DAWG! She’s the best dog I could ever hope to have. I love her little personality, she’s obedient with a sweet disposition, and the CUTEST dog ever. If ever I were to get behind cloning, it would be b/c of this dog.

Blah Blogging

OK, let’s just get right out there and say it: this month's blogging sucks! The rest of it is hardly a masterpiece, but it does have it’s moments, whereas sharing my “to do” list at work and calling it a post is really…well, quite frankly it’s embarrassing. Here are a few lists I need to get behind:

Jobs I’ve held
Pets I’ve owned
Boys I’ve kissed (though I’ve actually already done that one and only have the one addition to make)
Lays I’ve turned down
Days I’d relive
Top Fears
Secrets I’ve Never Sent to Postsecret, but wanted to
Art projects that went kaput
Things I’d do in a day if money & time were no object
Things I’d do in a month if money & time were no object

Yes, that won’t take care of the entire month of March, but at least half of what is remaining. And does the fact that I STILL have not produced a satisfactory/even mildly entertaining list for you make me feel bad? No way! This teaser is what showmanship is all about ! Ha ha!

Things I Promised God

if I'm Negative for HIV:

• Will attend the Passion on Good Friday (If I'm off that day I'll do the whole shebangey-bang, if not, will attend as early as I can until the end.)
• During my visit to see Eric in the Valley, I'll visit the Basiclica in San Juan, and attend confession.
• I'll watch "The Passion of the Christ"

To Do List for Spring Break

Donor letter
SOP for all processes
Response to Mittes
Start awarding schols
Potential school list
Potential TA list
Response to Wilkinson
Complete GOJAs

Americans Love Lists

Places I'd Consider Moving To

Portland, Oregon
Colorado
Cleveland
Austin
Chicago
The Valley (I DUNNO! But it's true)

Things I Wish I'd Done in The Valley

Visited the Basilica in San Juan
Called Leslie
Not eaten at Johnny Carinos
Watched less TV
Drank more margaritas
Gotten some sun
Written down some shit that won't stop swirling around my head

Must Haves for a Night on the Town

Debit Card
Drivers License
Loreal Shine Delice-Black Cherry
Five Sugarfree gum (flavor-Rain)
5 bucks in cash
cell phone
Great company (thanks Eric!)

Concerts I Wish I Could Have Seen

Stevie Ray Vaughn
The Pixies
Van Halen
Jimmy Hendrix
Sex Pistols

Guilty Pleasures

TV I feel like I'm too old to watch, but I still enjoy:

Gene Simmons Family Jewels
Rob & Big (Every time that 400 lb man says the word “doo-doo”, it just incites my soul to new heights of glee.)
My Gym Partner is a Monkey
Spongebob Squarepants
Orange County Choppers

Joan Rivers To-be

Cosmetic procedures I’d consider today:
Permanent eyeliner
Laser hair removal for legs
Resurfacing of eye area (lasers only)
Botox on forehead (one wrinkle on left side that stays around longer than it used to after I squint)

Cosmetic procedures I'd consider down the line:
Possible eye lift (pretty big “maybe” here)
Botox around smile lines
Chemical peel
Tummy tuck
Boob lift (just reorganizing the shit that I’ve got-no additions)

March Madness

Haven't put much (any) time into my blog lately, mostly b/c I've been so very busy. But the Nablopomo thing, which usually happens in November, is on again in March. Ohhhh, so you have no time to even pay minimal attention to your blog, so you've decided to fit in a blog post each day.... A'YUP! What actually sold me is the March theme of "lists". I whip out those stupid bulletins like nothing, so how hard could it be to make a list? Guess we’ll see

I’m starting out slow, so for your viewing pleasure, I bring to you: Songs I can sing from memory. Now, I’ll bet most of us can sing along to hundreds of songs, but are there any songs you can recall word for word, beat for beat with no music to help you along? Try it! Right now, sitting in front of a computer, open Word, think of your most favoritist song and try to type out all words. I was surprised to find I knew so few.

Beatles: Rocky Raccoon
Sarah McLaughlan: Possession
Beastie Boys: 3 Minute Rule
Weezer: El Scorcho
Aerosmith: What it takes
Indigo Girls: Galileo

Probably more, but I said I’d have time to write lists, not construct songbooks.