Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off the Deep End I Go

Sorry kids, I didn't realize editing a post would make people think there was a new one. I had previously listed all the guys I've kissed, but I had yet to add Mr. V-Day, or Fanny Pack Man, as Juan likes to call him. This is the kind of minutia that runs through your mind at 3am when you are trying your best to stay awake on the hour drive from Austin at your second job. But now that folks are peeking in and there's nothing to see, I'm feeling kind of bad about that. My blog (I just lost so much inner-cred for having written that statement) has just gotten its 1,000th look-see, and being a blog-tease is a pretty sorry way to treat folks. The fact that I have nothing particular to write about is now your problem. :-)

I can admit that at this very moment I am missing my Algebra class (old habits die hard!), which is going to be a review for the test we have Wednesday. Yes, I have once again mucked up my chance at getting a decent grade in a math class. I'd like to point out that I didn't have adequate funding to purchase my graphic calculator until the day before the first exam (I TRIED to borrow one; those that didn't pawn them right after they needed them are using them RIGHT NOW!), and that I couldn't afford the $60+ computer program until two weeks before the first exam, leaving me insufficient time to do my homework, but those kinds of excuses are pretty lame. True, but lame. Would I approve an appeal based on the info provided above? Survey SAYS! "Hell No!" The good news is that I understood all the concepts laid out in class, I am not a math dullard, just woefully pressed for time and trying to figure out what means most right now.

Whatever am I talking about? Lemme tellya! If I work over 8 hrs on Saturday or Sunday, I make $16.79 per hour opening and bundling mail for the IRS. If I go to work for the feds after work on the weekdays for 4 hours per day, I could potentially double my monthly salary. Hmmm….this algebra class, or getting myself closer to being debt-free….? Ordinarily I would actually pick education, because I'm not so short-sighted as to think fast money is more important than knowledge, but the opportunity to take algebra will be around, while my tour of duty w/the feds ends on April 25th, and not a day longer. I have to take this opportunity so that I can really get down to the business of going to school. There's just one thing though: Please, PLEASE don't tell my Mom or Dad! I KNOW, it feels unhealthy to me too, but I really don't want to disappoint them anymore than a single woman w/no prospects who allowed herself to fall in love w/a low class loser, and proceeded to lull herself into penury, despite everyone's good advice. I'm thinking I've put them through enough for now. I'm saving up my credibility for the big stuff! Y'know, when I come home pregnant w/a married man's child…something like that. (And if you don't think that's one of the most absurd thing I've ever written, please click out now; you don't know me, and I don't want to ever read from you again!) Humph!

The second part to this is that the job I had lined up for the rest of the year (before I realized I had the chance to make a bunch of dough w/the feds) fell through b/c the people who are in charge of hiring and training at the San Marcos Treatment Center have been working w/the mentally unstable children for far too long, and have now rendered themselves almost completely senseless. You see, no one bothered to tell me that I have to work a minimum of three 8-hour shifts per week as soon as the weeklong orientation ends. Yes, the 40-hour orientation which they've had to reschedule for me twice, though not gracious enough to call me beforehand to tell me the orientation was called off, [and as an aside, asking to change your vacation request two times in an office of 40 people, mostly catty women, whose policy is to request vacation for the months of January through AUGUST right when everyone comes back from Christmas break, (who the hell knows what'll be going on SEVEN months from now?!) is not a comfortable mission.] is something I had to accomodate my schedule for, however when the tables were turned, their accomodation skills were sorely lacking.

So they rescheduled me twice, then on the first day I was told I had to start Saturday and I had to work a minimum of 24 hours per week. We all know that math is not my forte, but 40 hrs per week at my "real" job + a minimum of 16 hrs per week at the temp. job + another 24 hours at a third job, AND the commuting time…would really…not be good. But I was actually willing! Yes! I am one of those rare employees who cares when I sign a document, or say I'll do something. If they hadn't screwed around so much getting me "oriented", I would have said no to the IRS job. Stupidly so (I only recently realized how much the Sunday night differential OT pays), but hey, the Feds ponied up first and I meant to keep that commitment. So during one of the breaks I expressed my concern to the woman doing most of the orientation at Crazy Camp, and also told her that I didn't think I would be much use to anyone if I tried to do all three, but as soon as my job w/the feds ended, I was all hers. She flatly told me that either I could work my three shifts starting that Saturday, or I could do orientation during some other week. Yeah…reschedule a week of vacation a THIRD time…thanks lady, you're aces! But hey, I had asked for the time off, and that orientation is paid so I figured worst case scenario, I'd get a small paycheck for being on "vacation". Plus, it was just so unreasonable that a part of me really didn't believe that was the final word. That I wouldn't HAVE to start working right away. I mean, they'd have a trained, willing, potential employee, right? Who could say no to this face?

Tuesday I was talking to one of my peers in class, and she told me of her spring break plans to go on a cruise beginning Thursday.
"Thursday?!" I asked. "But that means you can't finish orientation."
She replied, "I know, she (Crazy Camp Nazi) said I could just do the last two days in three weeks when the next orientation happens, and then I'll start working."
Bu…wha…sha…???

So I go to CCN and relay what I'd just heard, and though it would still mean one week of no sleep, it would allow me to finish the bulk of my training now, and only ask for a long weekend in 3 weeks, and everyone's happy! Weellll, not everyone. She said that the other woman had worked that out with her beforehand, and that she had given me my options yesterday: I could work 3 shifts next week beginning that Saturday, or I could sign up for the weeklong orientation at another time.

Suddenly I realized something….earlier that day she had been teaching us that these teenage patients will often engage us in power struggles. You know, the old "Please sweep your floor now." "No, make me.", and the only way to deal with those situations is to give them two choices. "You can either sweep the floor now and we can go on with our day, or you can choose not to sweep the floor and you don't get time in the rec. yard." This lady was treating me like a patient in a power struggle! Well, I can tell you one thing, I'm not freakin' sweeping your stupid floor!!! So I walked out. I went to the HR department and was told that Crazy Camp Nazi had the final word, and her boss was not available for consultation, but I could make an appointment at a later time. Ffffft!! (That was the sound I heard in my mind, which is the verbalization I have typically made when shooting the bird.)

I should've known. This was something that I had learned the first time around when I worked there (which is also written in this here blog, if one would care to backtrack): These places have such a hard time finding dependable people who come in to work day after day, week after week, year after year, that those basically have run of the place. Five years ago, the guy who kept leaving me alone w/the mental patients had worked there for about 3 years. Who were they going to invest in? A 5 month employee who statistically wouldn't last there a year, or someone who has proven that they have the mettle to get kicked, spit on, and in some cases, poop thrown from teenagers who will probably never know another day of being in "the free" and not somehow institutionalized. So really, I guess both parties have made decisions that would best benefit them.

One last thing before I go: two weeks ago as I was sitting in the orientation mentioned above after working from 6pm to 6am w/ the feds, then going straight to training, and trying my level best not to go to sleep during the "If you don't know how long you should wash your hands, sing Happy Birthday" speech, when I realized that some things just had to change. So I got rid of my cable and my land line. There's just no reason to put myself through all these paces and pay for services that I'm either never home to enjoy (the cable) or that place more obligations in my lap (listening to my machine/answering the phone). I've since realized that my DVD collection is for sucks, but I'm determined not to spend any money on obtaining anything that's not essential, which means no renting or purchasing DVDs. As a result I have been watching an inordinate amount of Lord of the Rings lately. Well! I love documentaries, more than movies it seems, so the appendices on the three movies have been all I've watched lately. This explains why I dreamed of Frodo last night, and when I'm starting to think things like "Anon…you have left your corset on the floor." H E L P M E!