Texting at The Club

Stuck in traffic this morning when I finally decided to bite the bullet and view what I had texted a friend of mine around 1:30am on Sunday morning. All I really knew when I awoke on Sunday is that I had texted someone while I was drunk, and that he had at some pointed ceased to respond. Both of these facts made me very uneasy. This morning I discovered that not only had it been mostly nonsense "I'm fmei, whir to drime!", and a couple of emphatic "You're much hotter!" messages (repeatedly sent, for some reason…) but the BEST news is that they were classified as "Sending in progress", which I am really hoping means that my hastily deleting them will eradicate them from the face of the earth forever and in perpetuity.

That was the first triumph of the morning. The second one came shortly thereafter when I began to read a few texts my cousin and I had shared at the club. Why yes, I did text while sitting at a table in a dance club. (Were you not able to read my previous admissions that my game sucks?) But these were my favorites*:

The cute guy in the suit CANNOT dance!

When I come back, see if the guy in front of us is scoping me

Which guy, in front of ME, me?

No, might be 2 short

WHO IS IT?

*These are from both my outbox and inbox, so as to protect the innocent. (And the guilty.)

I was laughing so hard this morning that my eye make-up began to run; it was great! We've decided that we'll have to work on our hand signals. We've already got one for "I'm not feeling this, let's lose this/these guy(s)". I'd relay the motion here, but I took a blood oath, I mean, a bloody mary oath, and I take that very seriously. Once we get it all worked out we'll pen a book, which I'm sure you'll either be able to find in the "Love/Relationships" section, or next to the books about semaphore. J

Then I had to go to a mandatory EEO (Equal Opportunity Employment) training where I learned that approximately 20% of the e-mails I send and receive are more than likely being tracked (b/c I already knew they were offensive-no one had to tell me that), that nonchalantly asking if/when one of my coworkers is retiring could result in a lawsuit, and lastly that people should not place sayings/Bible verses at the bottom of their e-mails, lest it offend external and/or internal customers. Yeah, I kinda wish I could've been stuck in traffic for a bit longer this A.M.