Thoughts are Flowing Like a Riiiiii-iiii-ver....

Drinking my dinner tonight. This week has just been such a roller coaster! First I’ve got this cool, new guy to talk to, and though I am a woman of 31 (and three-quarters), the 13 year old in me just leaps out and starts thinking what life would be like if this guy is really “the one”. I'm not naming nonexistent children or anything, but just shit like 'Wow, maybe we could go to the coast!" and "Where would we spend New Year's Eve?". Then he starts acting shady and I feel like such an IDIOT (once again) for having faith in strangers. Strike that-strange MEN who are holding themselves out to be interested in finding a serious relationship.

Then, it’s that time of year again when the IRS needs seasonal employees to help during the big tax push that is approaching. I go to the session and just having a good time all around. This may seem really strange (or pathetic), but this work orientation had me in such a good mood! It’s just that so many people get shy when they’re introduced to a room full of strangers, but I don’t. I’m not that dumbass who asks a bunch of questions and takes advantage of this ready-made captive audience, but I’m just good at putting people at ease by being my friendly self. And that made me feel so good. 20 minutes later I’m back at my crap job where I’ve been told to hire a temp, but am getting NO HELP as to how to do this (and it’s important not to haul off and make my own decisions, b/c you can bet that anything amiss will be taken out of my ass if I do it wrong), then the director’s secretary comes in and asks “Where is it on our website that you have to be admitted by the scholarship deadline?” and my response (at the end of this shitty day) is “Is it already time for those nutbags to come out?” [Do you think a large university is going to NOT cover their ass and post everywhere they can that in order to be considered for scholarships you must be admitted first, which is the SAME requirement made of EVERY large university in this state?] I was then told by the secretary who had walked into my office that she was wearing a headset, and that the person awaiting the answer (the nutbag) was listening. Can I make ONE decent decision?! \

And with this whole scholarship thing; this is a HIGHLY political process which is a very important tool for recruiting and getting our enrollment numbers up. How much training have I had? Not one planned meeting. Not ONE! I realize I’ve been in this office for the past 5 years, but I have not had a hand in this process in the past 2 years. The woman who previously held my position was scheduled to meet w/the Assoc. director every afternoon (4 hrs) for an ENTIRE WEEK. I’m not getting the benefit of any of that. And the really fucked up thing is that I can’t ask for the help b/c that will only cause me more problems. At present there’s this “Just ask for anything you need” kind of mentality. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS B/C YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? Guess we’ll all find out.

And so here I sit w/my 6 pack of Tecate (bought b/c I remembered I had a lime in the fridge w/no other earmarked purpose), munching on banana chips and considering what I should be packing for my short trip home tomorrow. Not so much in the clothes dept (I can pack for a week’s trip in about 20 minutes), but since I’m making the turkey at my Dad’s I have to make sure I remember all the groceries I bought. Can you imagine me having to brave the stores, THEN having to deal with enough celery to fell a small rabbit in the coming weeks? Happy thoughts…and another Tecate. I’ll be OK.